By Joanne B. Parrotta

Men will blame their reasons for cheating on not getting enough sex and attention from their wife/partner.  Another reason some men cheat is that they no longer find their wives physically attractive.  She has gotten lazy about her physical appearance and no longer cares what she looks like.  And many more will unfortunately cheat simply because the option has presented itself.     

Women on the other hand tend to cheat for emotional reasons, when they are feeling bored, and unhappy or taken for granted. They also cheat to get revenge on a cheating spouse. Today’s woman will rarely sit back and be cheated on and not seek revenge. When men are unfaithful, women experience the most severe blow to their self esteem. This ignites a constant struggle that threatens their sexuality and attractiveness, and that’s when trouble begins. They may feel the need to look elsewhere to feel sexy again, mostly to boost her ego. And believe me, there are plenty of guys who are more than willing to accommodate.

What are the signs that your spouse may be cheating (or thinking about cheating)?

• He/she spends a lot of time away from home
• Sex is less frequent
• He/she avoids you
• He/she criticizes you more

Cheating is No Joking Matter

I am convinced that not being happy and fulfilled in the relationship is the reason most people cheat – not because there is a lack of love for their spouse. Unfaithfulness is always a symptom of a bigger problem. Both men and women cheat because their emotional needs (and for some sexual needs) are not met.  Marriage is hard. We all know this. It takes real effort to keep the spark alive.  Daily worries about children, work, money, chores, etc., all take their toll on the marriage. However, we shouldn’t throw in the towel as soon as the going gets tough. Remember that we have all been given the willpower to control our bodies.  As far as I am concerned, no reason is a good enough reason to cheat. Discovering that your spouse has been unfaithful can be devastating. It is just a betrayal. Your marriage after an extramarital affair is often destroyed and saving it will be extremely hard, if not impossible. Even if your spouse decides to forgive you he/she will never forget. The hurt, rage, disappointment, and disbelief that your spouse will feel will not (and should not) be easily forgiven.

There are always serious consequences to infidelity. STD's are a major concern, as well as the damaging affects on the children and other family members. All this devastation is preventable just by affair proofing your marriage. Some ways you can do this are by:

·         Improving communication: Listen and share your thoughts and feelings with your partner.

·         Meeting each others needs for intimacy: Be aware of each other’s personal needs and meet them. Be affectionate - hug, kiss, caress your spouse everyday.

·         Doing thing together: Participate in fun and interesting activities together. Find something you both enjoy. Dress up and go on a special date as often as you can. I know that when you have kids spending quality time together is easier said than done. But work on it. The health of your marriage depends on it.

When we get married, we make a promise to one another to stay faithful in the face of temptation and difficulties. When you break that promise the trust bond is broken and not easily mended. Your spouse feels betrayed and rightfully so.